Ode to whoever cares.

I can't stress the experiences I've gone through in this year alone. I really can't...it's too much, some memories I wanted to forget and others I'm dying to relive again. Even though, the hurt and pain I could have gone without....I know they will shape me into a stronger woman for my future kiddies. This summer on top of this semester has been rough for me....all circulating around him, my family, and my aspirations. Perhaps, my persona is altered a bit for sure....a colder me. A more cautious me...a fuck you pay you me. I'm ready to see things....I'm ready to do things...i'm finna gather 'round the good stuff, eff a damn Pizza Hut. Y'all ain't feedin me...shoot, I'm hardly feedin myself LOL. I'm just trying to do me...with or without you. You know what to do.

....I can't Miss like Mister

Lemme clear my throat...no really. LOL, i have a minor cold which won't turn major bc my immune system is my left hand man, the right hand position is already taken lol. It's a rainy day, but that's not killing me. I love rainy days bc everyone else hates them lol...and while they're busy moping in the storm I'm bringin sunshine to it, yah digg??

I think Kanye is hilarious...I mean who else would have the audacity to go on stage when not scheduled too? True nigganess...lol.

Besides...Beyonce had the best video of all time!

haha, gotta love it...i

love assholery as long as it ain't dealing w/ me feel me.

Oh yeah on another note, Fall is approaching, and I deff can't wait for the weather and to be surrounded by the pretty leaves and see the trees. I JUST LOVE IT! Anywho, let's go over my fall must haves for myself.

1. A pair of boots (tannish brown)-flat
2. More jeans
3. Versatile sweaters
4. Boots w/ a heel
5. New bag
6. Nice Tat
7. Leather Jacket (specifically this Levi jacket i spotted, but get outta here if you think i'ma post it lol so u can jack my swag)
8. Swangin accesories

i'm talkin lights, camera, action....

ayooo. Truthfully speaking, I feel like my life is a movie...minus the glitz, glamor, and extras to do my stunts for me. Therefore, I get all the bruises and broken legs during my action scenes, boy do those actors have it made lol. Anywho, I started my 5th semester of college, ain't nothin but another year smothered w/ BS. I know people say money isn't everything, but it sure seems that way to me...eff what those philanthropists yapp about. I'm gettin hungry for dough...pillsbury should endorse me...but um. My life...well this past year, oh boy. Some say I changed...Some say I'm the same...some ain't say a damn damn. But ugh...let's just say I've gone through life changing experiences...some I would love to forget, but I know I never could; and others I love to remember. Between love and money...(The Dream) I'd say these past 10 months have been rollercoaster-like. All I know is I'm hungry to grasp my future in my palms...like I just wanna fast forward this part right now...so...

Over the summer the padres and me were constantly beefin...and for awhile things will never be the same...I know that for sure....Other relationships have gotten closer, and some a lil more distant than before. But don't be mad at me...I needed "ME" time, to discover what I want/need/and time to evaluate how things were working in my life. And if u can't accept that, fuck it...if u can't get over it. There's much to say, but not to much I feel to spill. I'm the same 'ol G, w/ some acquired knowledge and a few lbz. lighter lol. yeah ya girl's kinda slim now..well slimmer than before. Write ya later.

Everyday is Valentine...Everyday is Christmas.

uh hum.
it's june 10th, happy bday cuzzo...shawty is 21. and i'll be damn 20 on the 13th...ain't that crazy. I've been alive for 20 years! I'm so ready for my life to get on and poppin. I don't like this in between/interferance stuff right now. If ur meant to be in my life be there and act like it, so i can easily maneuver to my good life already got damn. Cuz ur just makin it harder for me to get there the way i see it. sometimes the way i think and the way i process things i wonder if i'm from a diff planet. Like am i seriously on a diff mindset than you? like somethings that are self-explanatory to me may be so foreign to the next...it's fun trying to understand it, but it's starting to urk the fuck outta me. Can't u just please me the way i want you too?...oh yeah bitches, i'm starting to realize the true selves of u individuals. so be my guest and keep showing those colors so i can paint y'all outta my life with ease. i'm a good individual i feel....i just wanna succeed... that's that kobe in me...defense doesn't exist to me, and a double-team is quite flattering. come get it when u ready for it, cuz frankyly i don't think u are.

Summer = new agenda, same interests, && new roles to be played.

Let's see...how exactly am i feelin?
Andre 3k walks in the room and replies, "FEELIN GOOD FEELIN GREAT.."
yeah, that just about sums it up.
Anywho, summer has began and so much has already happened that it's hysterical! First of all, I had a job. Yes, past tense was used...HAD a job lol. You see, I was goin around knockin on doors of my fellow Georgians preaching about the environment. I had this job for 2 days...and on the 2nd I decided that I was goin to throw the towel in like Soulja Boy says on "DonK" lol. Bc the day was horrible...i had old hags telling me that Obama kills babies...I had ppl just not wantin to hear a damn thing i was sayin...i was hott over there by Briarcliff...like WTF...i was like they can keep this...BUT YOU KNOW...i had put my best foot forward and was doing whatever had to be done because i was tryin to get that 3k...but fuck em. How bout when i got to the office they called me in for a "DEBRIEF" and these hoes said i'm cool as fuck basically, but they have to let me go....lol...WTF i didn't even get to QUIT before they FIRED ME! so i say FUCK THE ENVIRONMENT, loudly and proudly lol.
The next portion of my life...let's see where do I begin?
well, let's just say i'm making progress in an aspect of my life that has been dominating mostly everything that i do...and i'll leave it at that.

By the way...i think i'm in loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee again!
;)

Why do we like to hurt so much?

[HELLO WORLD]

Boy what a day I've had....seemed long, but eventful. I did inventory at the sports arena, took a test, did an experiment (i earned $15), made pancakes for me and mag-mag....napped. WOKE UP, cleaned my room, took a shower, washed my hair, straightened my hair, and i forgot that i cooked dinner as well. I just glanced in the right-bottom corner of my laptop, and it's freakin 3:54 a.m. Yikes!...
Well, no class for this dame...nor work...I don't work anymore actually...the spring season is over...but I do need to grind and grind real quick...I'm thinkin I wanna do me. And do me to the fullest. There's this summer job like as an environmentalist, and u earn between $4,000-$6,000. Therefore, I would be set...I could get a place to stay and actually be able to pay for it, as well as my bartending gig I want...then when i return to school I will definitely still working for the vball team...ugh, a beautiful thing!
However, i didn't intend on sharing this much info...I actually wanted to share one of my favorite rock bands with you. I absolutely love PARAMORE!
Tonight, all I've listened to was this paramore playlist that i've favorited on IMEEM that I found over Christmas break...when I tell you I can relate to every song, I am not lying. Hayley, the lead singer, is so fuckin awesome...I had to bust that one out...they're so ill....the chords they play...Hayley's voice is amazinggggggggggg...and guess what? shawty has a gap like me lol =)...oh man, i'd kill to see them in concert. EVERY DAMN SONG....how can you accomplish something like that? Although i'm a hip-hop fiend, I find myself relating more to rock bands...you know? The love cries, the injustices, the pain, the hurt, real-life things from a day-to-day basis...that's me. So, thank you Paramore...i'm listening.

mirror, mirror, on the wall...Who's the fairest of them all?

so I heard that money, power, & respect is the key to life...or maybe the L.O.X. just told me that. Whatever the case maybe I believe it....lol. C.R.E.A.M., you name the game. Life is crazy man, things never cease as long as the globe keeps circlin' round the sun...So maybe the sun is the OFFICIAL "key" to life. SO, Spring is here....just another season. You know how they do...come and go, like dead-beat dads.
On another topic...
today i went to the Cinefest to watch a movie and basically KILL time...I saw "BLINDNESS" well 3/4 of it. IT was weird as hell...but it made me think. What if i was blind?? Would i be concerned about my clothing? My appearance? Who I'm crushin on? Who's crushin on me? Some say life would be easier for some. BUT DAMN sight is a beautiful thing. Being able to see how things work, what the definition of beauty is, the outdoors (although I'm not a fan lol), your loved ones...man the list goes on. All I can say is that Gifts come in all shapes and sizes and most importantly, different packages.
----killaaaaaa